I Am Weak, He Is Strong.

Doubt. It seems like everyone thinks that is such a bad word when it comes to God, yet we all doubt at one time or another. Many of us doubt that God could ever forgive us for all of our mess ups. Many of us doubt the very existence of God in the first place. Many of us doubt ourselves and our abilities to follow God like we should even if God COULD ever forgive us. Do you know there is light at the end of the tunnel in all this thinking though? God is merciful to doubters like us.  He understands, and His grace abounds if we only let go and let Him in to do what only He can. Do you ever notice how merciful God is to us about our lack of faith? 


It always has kind if rubbed me the wrong way when people talk about "Doubting Thomas" in a derogatory manner. I mean, don't we all doubt like him? I know I do. All the time I pray things like "God, please just let me hear through the baby monitor my daughter breathing so I can be assured she is okay." I do this even though I know that God tells me not to worry, because by doing so I cannot add one hour onto her life (paraphrasing Matthew 6:27). I pray that "little faith" prayer, and, I hear my baby take a deep breath. 


Look at how Jesus handled Thomas's "little" faith:

24 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

26 Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”  John 20:24-29 ESV

Isn't it awesome that Jesus was willing to meet Thomas where he was in his struggle to believe? Jesus accommodated Thomas' doubting request, and gently chided him to believe. We obviously do not have Thomas's advantage here, but Jesus knows this and comforts us by saying that those who believe what they have not seen will be blessed.

God does the same thing with Moses in Exodus 4. In this story, God appears to Moses in a burning bush, telling him to go back to Egypt and demand the Pharaoh to let the Israelites go so they can find a new land for themselves and not be slaves anymore. Moses is doubtful and argues with God that the people won't believe that God appeared to him. God then gives him several miraculous signs that he can show the people so they will believe. After that, Moses continues to doubt himself and God by telling God that he cannot speak well enough to communicate with these people. God then tells him He will give him the words to say, but Moses still isn't convinced. Finally, God, obviously getting a little peeved at this point,  says that he will let Moses' brother Aaron speak for him. 

Yet another Bible story that reiterates this point is the story about Gideon, an Israelite warrior called by God to defeat the Midianites. Gideon doubts God and himself and asks for a sign. He tells the Lord that he will put a piece of wool on the ground, and if God will make the wool wet with dew in the morning and the ground dry, that he will believe Him. God obliges and gives him the sign he is looking for. Gideon still does not believe and asks God for another sign, this time to keep the wool dry and make the ground wet with dew.  The Lord shows Him the sign he asks for again (Judge 6:36-40).

You see, I think our doubting saddens God, but if we are willing to let him work in our lives, he is merciful to us. He knows all to well that we are but imperfect humans, and he is willing to meet us where we are if we are willing to seek Him.  James 4:8 says "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." He has it all together; we don't. We are weak, but praise God our heavenly Father, HE is STRONG.

Making the Most of...One Night of Freedom! =D

So, this is not going to be a deep post, but I was feeling guilty about not writing in almost two weeks.  Yeah, I have some good excuses. We have had sicknesses galore, and I have honestly been too beat at night to do anything else other than stare at the computer screen half cross-eyed from being so tired.  We are finally all well here though, and if you live in the Southeast, you know the weather here has been GORGEOUS! Things are definitely lookin' up!


I am excited to let my dear readers know a couple things.  One is that my husband and I are able to, Lord willing, go on our overnight trip tomorrow!  =D!!! Another thing is this same dear sweet husband of mine gave me a new computer yesterday, so I had to test it out with a new post tonight. He's so good to me.


On our trip, we plan on doing a lot of special things that we never get to do with small kids, like sitting down for a whole meal (multiple meals at that), getting massages, and having uninterrupted conversations about our deep love for each other. (It's okay, you can go spit out that throw up in your mouth). If I can ever find the camera charger, I hope to post some pictures of our trip. Yeah, organizing is on my "to do" list to make the most of my time. :)


So I'll see all of you on Sunday, when hopefully I will have something a little more substantial. 


Have a great weekend!


Love,
A

Breathe. Our Lives Are But a Breath.

Man, was I ever lazy today. Dave and I were supposed to go to Asheville today for an overnight getaway for his birthday, but, for whatever reason, God wanted us to stay home.  Threats of snow and ice started out the day yesterday. Then, my daughter started running a fever. A few hours later, my friend who was going to keep my kids called to let me know that her daughter was running a fever. One obstacle after another was seemingly thrown into our path. Alas, the coveted date night solitude eludes us for two more weeks. I guess I had already made up my mind that today would entail no work, because that is exactly what I did not do. Work, that is. I veged out on the couch and spent some quality time with my sick girl while my little man worked from home with his daddy. 


Rest. Ahhhhh. A day to relax and reflect on life. We all need it, yet we rarely ever get good, quality down time. Day after day, we zip around checking off our to do lists to get the day done. Then, on our days off, we are anxious to fill all our time with outings (I'm raising my hand as guilty right here). Even when we do stay home, how often do we just relax and spend time with family or God without distractions all day long like TV or Internet? And no, I'm not suggesting we should just sit around and just look at each other all day, either. 


Nothing is inherently wrong with any of the activities mentioned above. This is just something I have been convicted about for a long time, and yet I have done virtually nothing about it. It is too easy to get distracted from what life is really all about. One area I have struggled with for awhile now is Facebook taking up way too much of my time. I am watching and taking care of my kids, all the while compulsively and mindlessly checking Facebook on my phone anytime I sit down for a moment. I love my kids with all my heart. I love to play with them, take care of them, and love on them. But, if I am constantly looking at what all these other people are doing on my phone all the time, who or what am I really putting first? I feel like I've been punched in the stomach when I think about this. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord..." Am I really giving anything my whole heart when I am distracted? So, as of tonight, I am burying my Facebook App deep in the recesses of preschool games  in my phone. It will have to be a mindful effort to check it. I will strive to only check it when my kids are asleep (and not while rocking them, mind you, because that is irreplaceable, special time), and after I have spent daily quiet time with God. I tell you this so I can feel accountable. You really won't know, but I can't stand the thought of all of you calling me a liar in my head (grins sheepishly).


 Like I said, there is nothing wrong with Facebook. I obviously LOVE Facebook, and the meaningful friendships it has brought into my life. I also absolutely love the extra connection it gives me to my family that I miss so much.  

ANYWAY, we almost never are just still, thinking of the brevity of our lives and what means the most. I read some verses the other night and I haven't been able to get them out of my head.

Psalm 39:4-6 reads,


⁴ “Show me, LORD, my life’s end 
   and the number of my days;
   let me know how fleeting my life is. ⁵ You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
   the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
   even those who seem secure.
 ⁶ “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;
   in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth
   without knowing whose it will finally be." (NIV)


Kind of depressing, right? But if we don't really dig in and ponder this, we are in danger of zooming around like "mere phantoms" just doing all our stuff, whether important or totally insignificant, and really missing the point of it all. I hate to say it, but we are all going to be in the ground before we know what hit us. What is really going to matter then? If you are an atheist, you say, "nothing". I say, PLEASE just know you are sure. Those of us who claim to be believers in Jesus, we need to take time to "be still" and contemplate our relationship  with the One who made us and WILL be exalted above the nations (paraphrased Psalm 46:10).


2 Corinthians 13:5 says,


 "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" (ESV)


I don't know about you, but I don't want to fail the test because I couldn't get off of Facebook (or insert your personal vice here) long enough to spend quality time with God examining myself according to His Word. I don't want to forfeit valuable time cultivating relationships with my family, either.  


Our lives are but a breath. Let us all be careful not to forget to take moments everyday to clear the haze of busyness and examine our lives, making sure that we are making the most of the time we are given.  

Treading Water is Part of the Plan.

I shamelessly stole this title from my girl Nicole's comment on my first post.  How insightful.  I just had to use it.  The things we consider insignificant, mundane, or tiresome in life are, in fact, a lot of times the very things that God wants us to be doing. Sure, I would like to do some pretty big things with my life. And like I said before, I am trying to put a long term game plan into place. I have gotten frustrated at times when I feel like no matter what I do, I am stuck in the same place.  


About three years ago, my family was content living in South Carolina close to my side of the family.  We had JUST bought a house where we wanted to raise our family. Literally overnight, we were told that my husband's job position had basically evaporated unless he would move to Tennessee, like, the next day.  We had lived in this same exact place before in Tennessee, but had been happy to relocate to South Carolina. He was basically sent back to work in a market in the company that he was content to leave behind two years prior. 


Well, we made the decision that we had to make, and the next day I headed to Tennessee to find us a place to live. I found the best place I could on such short notice.  Over the next week, we made arrangements and moved.  Our firstborn son was 5 months old.  


For the first year we lived there, all I could think about was moving back home (i.e.. anywhere in South Carolina). We definitely did not want to buy a house, because we knew we were going to try to relocate the first "right" opportunity that came along. I was not happy with the place I found for us to live in, and would spend hours each day on the internet looking for a different place to live that would feel more like home to me. NOTHING would ever pan out. Why? I prayed and prayed for God to show me another place that we could rent.  Nothing. Nothing. I just could not understand why something so easy was so hard. 


We lived in that house for two years. We brought our second child, this time a girl, home to that rental house.  And, we were able to meet, and I believe be a significant blessing to one family in particular on our street. I know we would have never met any of those people on that street had it not been for the fact that God placed us there "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).  


In late October of 2009, my husband got a call from the place that brought him into the business he was in.  They called bearing the sad news that my husband's mentor, who was in his 50's, had experienced a series of unfortunate circumstances that had ultimately led to his death. They needed someone they trusted to take his place, and who was at the top of their list? Dave. (That's my husband, by the way. I just got permission to introduce him. :)). 


Dave accepted and started his own business in collaboration with their business. He was able to leave the bad situation with his other job that had only gotten worse over time. Almost immediately after that, we were informed of a foreclosure in a nice, well-established neighborhood.  We looked at it, fell in love with it, and were able to buy it. Basically, everything fell in to place just the way GOD planned it.  


Now, aren't you glad that sometimes we don't get what we pray for?  Isaiah 58:8-9 goes like this:


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as far as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts." (ESV)


Ephesians 3:20 says that God is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think".  Do you believe that?  Has there ever been a time in your life when something like this has happened to you?  


Maybe you don't understand the place you are in right now, or don't think you can make a difference where God has placed you.  I still struggle with that, wondering how I will do anything great for God when I don't have anyone I can ask to watch my kids while I go out and change the world.  The truth is though, if I am diligent in what God asks me to do, I am changing the world right here, one diaper at a time.

Hi, I'm New Here...

Well, welcome to my first ever blog post! (You can clap and make me feel better about myself if you want). Seriously, I'm shakin' in my skinny jeans. But God made me to write! And, He tells me not to worry about the words that I will say, because He will give them to me.

Okay, insecure rant over.

Tonight, my baby girl chipped her little front tooth on the corner of the wall. Bless her heart, she was so exhausted she just fell right over. It broke my heart to see that she was hurt. What almost hurt me more was to look into that pretty little mouth, and know that the tiny chip would be there a lot longer than the physical pain.

We all have scars like that, don't we? Whether they are physical or emotional, something triggers the remembrance of their presence, and for a moment, the pain that left us seemingly so long ago wells up again inside.  It paralyzes us with fear when we dream about doing something new. We feel vulnerable, awkward, and insecure. 


Let me tell you friends, I struggle with this more than I would like to admit.  My husband can tell you that I have been a dreamer without a vision for a long time.  I'm great at taking care of immediate needs in the here and now of my family and my household. I work hard for the people I care about. I do.  But when it comes to making time for the other things that God wants me to do, and using the gifts that he has blessed me with, I falter.  I have great ideas, but when it comes to an action plan, I have nothing.  Why? Two big reasons: Lack of discipline and FEAR.  I fear the unknown and rejection. But, God promises in His Word that He "has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).  Can I get an Amen?  We need to claim that! God cares about all of us so much, whether we choose to believe that or not.  Psalm 139:14 says that all of us are "wonderfully made". Jesus tells us that He pays attention to everything that happens to little birds, so not to be afraid, for we are worth much more to him than MANY little birds.  He says he has the very hairs of our heads numbered (paraphrased Luke 12:6-7).  


Even though I know all of this, it is easy to forget.  I start comparing myself to others and what THEY can do and how THEY look like they have it all together.  I know I'm not the only one here.   


I have wanted to write this blog for a long time, but I've been TOO SKEERD and too lazy. Well, take that Devil! I WILL NOT waste my life anymore.  I owe it to my God, my family, my friends, myself and anyone whom I might meet in the future to live the life I was made to live.   This blog is just a very small facet of that equation.  


Be blessed, Friends. And if ya can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. ;)


I'll leave you with the verses that are the inspiration for this blog, Ephesians 5:15-16:


"Look carefully then, how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."