Okay, insecure rant over.
Tonight, my baby girl chipped her little front tooth on the corner of the wall. Bless her heart, she was so exhausted she just fell right over. It broke my heart to see that she was hurt. What almost hurt me more was to look into that pretty little mouth, and know that the tiny chip would be there a lot longer than the physical pain.
We all have scars like that, don't we? Whether they are physical or emotional, something triggers the remembrance of their presence, and for a moment, the pain that left us seemingly so long ago wells up again inside. It paralyzes us with fear when we dream about doing something new. We feel vulnerable, awkward, and insecure.
Let me tell you friends, I struggle with this more than I would like to admit. My husband can tell you that I have been a dreamer without a vision for a long time. I'm great at taking care of immediate needs in the here and now of my family and my household. I work hard for the people I care about. I do. But when it comes to making time for the other things that God wants me to do, and using the gifts that he has blessed me with, I falter. I have great ideas, but when it comes to an action plan, I have nothing. Why? Two big reasons: Lack of discipline and FEAR. I fear the unknown and rejection. But, God promises in His Word that He "has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT). Can I get an Amen? We need to claim that! God cares about all of us so much, whether we choose to believe that or not. Psalm 139:14 says that all of us are "wonderfully made". Jesus tells us that He pays attention to everything that happens to little birds, so not to be afraid, for we are worth much more to him than MANY little birds. He says he has the very hairs of our heads numbered (paraphrased Luke 12:6-7).
Even though I know all of this, it is easy to forget. I start comparing myself to others and what THEY can do and how THEY look like they have it all together. I know I'm not the only one here.
I have wanted to write this blog for a long time, but I've been TOO SKEERD and too lazy. Well, take that Devil! I WILL NOT waste my life anymore. I owe it to my God, my family, my friends, myself and anyone whom I might meet in the future to live the life I was made to live. This blog is just a very small facet of that equation.
Be blessed, Friends. And if ya can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. ;)
I'll leave you with the verses that are the inspiration for this blog, Ephesians 5:15-16:
"Look carefully then, how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Let me tell you friends, I struggle with this more than I would like to admit. My husband can tell you that I have been a dreamer without a vision for a long time. I'm great at taking care of immediate needs in the here and now of my family and my household. I work hard for the people I care about. I do. But when it comes to making time for the other things that God wants me to do, and using the gifts that he has blessed me with, I falter. I have great ideas, but when it comes to an action plan, I have nothing. Why? Two big reasons: Lack of discipline and FEAR. I fear the unknown and rejection. But, God promises in His Word that He "has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT). Can I get an Amen? We need to claim that! God cares about all of us so much, whether we choose to believe that or not. Psalm 139:14 says that all of us are "wonderfully made". Jesus tells us that He pays attention to everything that happens to little birds, so not to be afraid, for we are worth much more to him than MANY little birds. He says he has the very hairs of our heads numbered (paraphrased Luke 12:6-7).
Even though I know all of this, it is easy to forget. I start comparing myself to others and what THEY can do and how THEY look like they have it all together. I know I'm not the only one here.
I have wanted to write this blog for a long time, but I've been TOO SKEERD and too lazy. Well, take that Devil! I WILL NOT waste my life anymore. I owe it to my God, my family, my friends, myself and anyone whom I might meet in the future to live the life I was made to live. This blog is just a very small facet of that equation.
Be blessed, Friends. And if ya can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. ;)
I'll leave you with the verses that are the inspiration for this blog, Ephesians 5:15-16:
"Look carefully then, how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Well, Al, you need not be SKEERD. This was great! I believe you have a gift of wordsmithing. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning. I am in the same boat as you, perhaps that is why we remain friends after all these years.... I too, am a dreamer with no follow through, but I often wonder if that feeling of treading water is part of His plan. I look forward to your future posts :) <3 ya like a fat kid <3's cake ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thanks for the encouragement, Nicole! I am glad that you are my first comment! And you are so right. I think treading water is part of His plan a lot of times! I love you too, girl! And I am so blessed to still have you in my life after all these years.
ReplyDeleteAllison,
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful! I really needed this word today: "God promises in His Word that He "has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)" Thank you!
Jenn
Thank you, Jennifer! I need that Word everyday! It makes me happy I could help. :)
ReplyDelete